dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
