Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
