then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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