He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
