I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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