just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
