Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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