Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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