im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
