i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize