I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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