office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
