Even the bartender felt bad for me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
