I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
