We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
