I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
