You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
