So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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