You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
