i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
