All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
