Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
