No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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