I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize