just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
