i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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