Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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