K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
