So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
