I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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