the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
