Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
