oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just google imaged poop.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Still dying that you shit outside
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize