My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
