So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
