i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You ruined the universe
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
