I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
