but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
