why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
