I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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