Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
