I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
