you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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