he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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