fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
