ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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