dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
