Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
