Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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