Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
