if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
