I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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