I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
