bring money and cleavage
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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