you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
