i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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