Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
