i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
