If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
