Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
