What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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