this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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