We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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