Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
