I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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