Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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