My brain says no but my pants say off.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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